Stop Hiding Your Light: Shine Bright!

Posted on March 6, 2011 by DeBorah Beatty

Why do we hide how magnificent we truly are? Is it because we’re all trying to be good kids and express humility the way our parents hoped we would? Where has it gotten us?

Reminds me of a song I heard a long time ago from Mac Davis and the Muppets.

I’ve had occasion recently to reflect on how it’s so easy and yet so frustrating to only show a few facets of what I’m capable of.
In my workaday job, I’m expected to do what I’m told and fall into the mold of a good little worker bee. But so many of the people I talk to, I can help way beyond the scope of my j.o.b. I know none of you must feel that way, right???????

Anyway, have you ever had days when you just wanted to stand on your desk and scream to the world to look at you, listen to you and stop being such boobs? I had one today.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like my job. I’m just bored with the monotony and stressed that it’s time consuming and takes me away from what I really love doing, which is working with all of you! At work I’m being paid for only 1/10th of what I’m capable of. I know it, they know it, but they only need that 1/10th from me so we’re sort of stuck.

None of us is one dimensional or even two or three. We’re all sparkling gems with thousands of facets and depending on the light we step into certain sides of us shine forth. I know I’m far more than my administrative abilities or my software knowledge abilities, but how to show the other parts to the world ah, there is the issue.

It’s not like we can stand up one day and say to anyone who will listen, I can do this and this and this and oh, you should see me do this! Those we speak to will usually run away thinking we’re sure full of ourselves. But I always have said, if we don’t honk our own horn first, nobody else is going to know how loud to do it.

It isn’t easy to declare yourself. I would say it’s probably almost as difficult as telling a parent you don’t want to do what they want you to for the rest of your life. But it is necessary. We need to stand up, step forward and stand strong.

Tell the world what you’re capable of. Share your knowledge, tell some stories, educate the masses who are hungry to learn. Be loud and proud (even if you have to start out softly).

Tell one person what you want out of your life; what you dream of, what you have a passion for doing. Then, tell another and another and soon it won’t be so hard, and guess what, they’ll be telling people what you want to do because people naturally want to help others create their dreams. It’s inherent in the species.

Here are a few of my facets:

  • I’m brilliant at discovery; finding patterns in homogeneity. I can pick out what is not working in a minute or less when talking to a business owner or a life owner. (Yes, we do own our lives, folks.)
  • I have a natural gift for color. I do numerology based color analysis for my clients if they want. Totally fun and amazingly accurate.
  • I have a lot to say. (Surprise? Nope.) What I have to say comes from several lifetimes of experience. I have wisdom to share and I want people to listen.
  • I can teach others how to do what I do and how to live their lives with power, passion and possibility.
  • I’m an experienced print broker, small business owner, respiratory therapist, graphic designer, marketer, voice artist, mixed media artist and traveling craftsperson.

These are just a few of my facets – how about yours? Got any you want to share?

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Woo You: Valentines Are Personal

Posted on February 5, 2011 by DeBorah Beatty

If you weren’t you, would you still like you?

If you just met you for the first time, what would your first impression be?

What’s your favorite romantic movie scene and why?

It’s almost Valentine’s Day. For couples, it is one of the most stressful days of the year and for singles, even more so. I have an idea for this one: How about you be your bestest and most favoritest valentine ever?

This entails making a commitment to actually liking the self you are right now, right here. Take inventory. What is it about yourself you’d like others to know and encourage? Has it ever occurred to you to have a love affair with yourself?

You’re an awesome person, right? You wait for someone else to recognize that, always looking outside yourself to find validation? What if YOU be that person? Try a few of these on (and you don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day!)

Take yourself out on a date. Isn’t there some special restaurant you just love? Go to dinner there and treat yourself the way you always have envisioned that “someone special” would treat you.  Is there a movie or a show you’ve been wanting to see but been waiting for someone to go with? Do it now! You’re the best company you know.

Remember “me, myself and I”? How about focusing on this trio and having a party, just the 3 of you?

Do you enjoy preparing a fabulous meal? How about creating the mood with decorating and table settings and wooing yourself? Fix your meal, really get into it and enjoy yourself, then sit down for your dinner and commit yourself to experiencing every moment of it. Do you like candlelight? By all means, set a romantic table.

This goes for us married folk, too. I know there are some types of food I love and my husband won’t touch. He’s such a wonderful mate, but there are times that he’s just such a guy. My fantasy is based on a TV episode I saw years ago where Debbie Travers did a Spicy Outdoor Dining episode where she redid the person’s apartment in East Indian colors, but the part I loved and have fantasized on for many years was the end of the episode where they created an oasis in the back yard with yards of sari silk, candles, painted ice cream cups from India and amazing food. I’ve always wanted to set a table that way and decorate my dining room with turquoise blue, orange and fuschia colors and just immerse myself in sensory overload for dinner.

This is something I’m going to have to do for myself. Hubby is wonderful and he’d attempt it for my sake, but the delicate scents and the meal itself would just not appeal. (And, unless he was as into it as I was, the experience would be less than satisfyingfor me.) I’m not complaining, mind you, just being honest. The things we do together are always fun and an adventure. I totally enjoy discovering the things we do. But sometimes, when you’re in a relationship (we’ve been married 12 years now), you just know the kinds of things your partner just won’t be into and instead of making him wrong for not wanting to play in one of my fantasies, I prefer to just have this one alone so I can enjoy all the parts of it I want to.

And on the other side, there are things he likes to do that I don’t so it works.

Is it a day of pampering you’d like? Schedule one.  For the ladies, go have a decadant massage, a facial get your nails and hair done, treat yourself to lunch and have a silly, foofoo dessert. For the guys, get a haircut and a facial and/or shave, try a manicure/pedicure at one of those men only spas.  How about a warm stone massage? Get the idea?

It doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg, either. There are a number of Groupon, Yollar, Living Social, or several other systems who are offering wonderful deals for Valentine’s Day. (If you don’t subscribe to these services for your local area, I highly recommend them. They offer opportunities like yesterday when they were offering a night’s stay at a romantic getaway for half price!)

To sum up – there’s nobody who knows you like you do; not in the depth you do. Nobody knows your deepest secret lifelong fantasies like you do or would have the ability to fulfill them in the detail you do. Stop waiting for someone outside yourself to complete you or make you “whole”. You are already whole — you were born that way. Enjoy your time. There is no such thing as someday. All we have is now. Make it what you wish.

How do you love you? Count the ways.

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You Have To Know What To Ask To Get What You Want

Posted on January 21, 2011 by DeBorah Beatty

Recently I had a question. It does happen on occasion, much to my dismay. But after 15 minutes of being frustrated trying to explain what it was I was asking, I finally told the customer support person on the other end of the line what it was I wanted to do, why I wanted to do it and asked what I should ask if I want to do it again sometime.

Made me think. So many times, we’re told to ask for what you want. The “Law of Attraction”  tells us to concentrate on what we want to bring it to us.  But the thing that is confounding most folks I speak with is how to be sure that what you’re asking for is what you want.

That is to say, when you ask for something, how do you phrase the question? How do you see the end result of asking and where does analyzing your chances for success or failure come into the question formation process?

Have you ever since adulthood just come out and asked for something for no other reason than you want it? Beyond ordering off a restaurant menu, I mean? There’s a delicious feeling that comes from a simple request. And for those who already hear a refusal in the request before it’s even made, there are three possible results when a request is made, not one. It can be accepted, declined or modified.

I’ve spent a lot of my life saying yes to requests I wanted to decline. But that’s another long story. The point is, I wish I had known there was the third alternative to the request and I could have modified it and compromised so that both parties won.

asking questionsGetting back to asking the question or making the request, however, here are a few suggestions for the next time you want to ask someone for something to increase your effectiveness and success quotient.

  1. Take 10 seconds and imagine the person you are asking saying yes.
  2. When you are formulating your question, notice whether you’re already answering for the other person.
  3. When you’re formulating your question, take time to run your spell check (that is, make sure you’re absolutely clear about what you’re asking for.)
  4. Be clear about your desired end result.

Here are a few questions for you about questions:

  1. What is it in your question or your demeanor that has them glad to acquiesce?
  2. What are they saying yes to?
  3. What are they saying no to?
  4. What EXACTLY do you need from them that you don’t already have access to?

To sum up, sometimes knowing what questions to ask is just as important as knowing the answers.

Posted in Conscious Languaging | Leave a comment

R.E.A.D. – Not just for books anymore: Goal Setting in 2011

Posted on January 1, 2011 by DeBorah Beatty

As I wrote in my last post, 2010 was about honoring my boundaries, severing past behaviors/patterns that didn’t serve me. 2011 will be about honoring the path I’m walking and opening up to possibility, no matter where it may pop up.

This is the new 2011 screen I have on my computer, replacing my IFD desktop.

And here are the parts to what R.E.A.D. means to me:

rainbow RRESPECT WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO TEACH

Everyone has within them some divinely inspired knowledge to share.  Listening for that wisdom is not always easy, especially when there are emotional issues at play. Active Listening is a skill that’s a bit tricky to develop. What are people really saying? Are you listening to what is being said or are you waiting for the other person to shut up so you can share your opinion/report/agenda? Are you genuinely weighing what is being shared to see where it contributes to your experience?

rainbow EEXPECT MIRACLES

Miracles happen each and every moment of every day; whether we’re present to them or not. By creating an atmosphere of expectancy, we create a place for them to show up. When they do, and they will, choose the ones you want and let the others go on to someone else. Keep the energy flowing, make your own contributions and bless them on their way.

rainbow AACCEPT CHANGE

And I don’t mean quarters or pennies. Change happens. Sometimes we see it as good sometimes not so good. Change is change, without an evaluation. By accepting it without expectation, we open ourselves up to opportunities that may show up as a result of a change. When we put an emotional charge on it, like thinking a change is bad or engenders some sort of loss, we deny ourselves the freedom to choose what good may come out of new path we find ourselves upon.

rainbow DDIRECT ENERGY WITHIN YOUR FOCUS

What is it you’re desiring to achieve in the next year? Are you focused? Are you doing primarily the activities that will bring that desire into being or are you still floundering about hoping something will happen to show you the path to follow? Making choices based on your focus will accelerate the end result appearing (see Expect Miracles above.)

I really like using “READ” as an acronym for the 2011 focus. The word has such a depth of meaning. There’s “reading” a situation, a person or an issue. Idioms like, “What’s your read on this?” exist for a reason. Words are not the only things human beings read; they’re merely a representation for the meaning behind the squiggles on a page.

I wish you all a creative, created, happy and productive 2011. May you flourish beyond your wildest dreams!

phoenix rising happy new year

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Have You Had Enough?: Is It Time For A Change?

Posted on December 28, 2010 by DeBorah Beatty

IFD PosterFor many of us, myself included, there are times when we say to ourselves, “I’m so tired of people trying to take advantage of me. I must have a sign on my forehead or something.” or “When will it be my turn to be the one to win? Why am I always the one who has to compromise?”

When is enough enough? How do you finally say no more to doormathood?

On January 1, 2010 I attended a workshop given by a friend of mine on goal setting. It was a nice workshop and got my wheels turning, but as is often the case, driving home afterwards alone was when the epiphany hit. I had not achieved the goals I had set for myself because I always gave up what I wanted for someone else’s sake. Either it would make someone else angry that I wanted something more or someone else’s need was apparently greater than mine for what I wanted.

As I began to cry, the whole history of my life tumbled down my cheeks and I began to get angry. It went from angry to furious. I had told myself what I wanted wasn’t important for so many years, I started to believe it! So as I drove into my parking space at my apartment complex I found myself screaming at the top of my voice that I was done. In fact, I wasn’t just done, I was f*’ing done!

I was through giving up my dreams because they weren’t convenient for others.

I was through settling for less than what I wanted.

I was through with feeling tired all the time because the weight of my inability to decide was pulling me down.

I was through not standing up for myself

I was through… well, you get the picture.

So I created the graphic you see up above and put it on my computer desktop. (I would have printed it out, but at the time I was out of ink.) As it turned out, having it on my desktop was the best thing I could have done because as I sat at my desk and my computer would switch into screensaver mode, I’d see it. Every day when I started up the machine I would see it; every night when I shut the machine down I would see it. It hasn’t been easy through the year but I’ve learned to create ways for my dream to move forward. I’ve remembered the third option on requests – as in, when someone requests something of you there are three ways to handle it: agree, decline or modify. I’ve learned to say no (a real biggie) to my family when I want to do something contrary to what they want and I’ve learned to actually object when my boundaries are being ignored.

Now, at the beginning of another year, I wonder what my banner cry will be for 2011. What will yours be? I’d love to hear about it.

And, by the way – if you’d like a copy of the graphic for your computer, let me know and I’ll send it to you. I’m also offering it soon as an 11×17 full color poster for your wall through the store.

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